31 Days of Hallowe’en 2018, Day 27: How to Keep a Mummy 1×01 [2018] [anime]

Brb, dying of cuteness:

how to keep a mummy, anime, halloween, horror anime, horror,

smol,

It’s impossible to stress just how tiny this thing is, or why the main character’s father sent it to him all the way from Egypt in a comically massive coffin. Is he rich? Does he know how much postage on a heavy item like that all the way to Japan would cost? I fucking do, because I had to contend with having seven – yes, seven – suitcases to ship back to London because I had mildly overshopped. Fuck long-haul baggage charges.

Anyway, that’s not the gist of this show. Sora (Mutsumi Tamura) is sent a teeny tiny mummy from his father, who is currently in Egypt and has repeatedly sent him terrifying things in the past (each of which could have its own spin-off, based on the flashback montage).

But instead of doing what the rest of us would fucking do and hug that damn defenceless thing immediately, the ungrateful little dicktwerp shoves it back into its frighteningly cavernous coffin and loudly deliberates on how to send it back to Egypt. Even when the heartbreakingly mute munchkin starts crying because the shithead human it imprinted on is crassly rejecting it, the cheeto-haired fuckface’s only concern is mopping up the mess the little mummy made with its tears. Then, the dead-eyed family dog starts yapping for hugs, so, like the smart little bandaged baby it is, it leaps on him and mimics the bark just so it can be cuddled, too. But, no, the heartless bastard continues to rebuke his new charge’s basic request for love and tells him to get off. I don’t know about you, but if I came across a tiny, innocent thing that had been shipped to another continent, I’d be a little less of an arsehole about it.

Most of the episode was spent by me waiting for him to hug the mummy – which he names Mii-kun – once. Just ONCE. Spoiler: he doesn’t (yet), and I’m still pissed about it. For fuck’s sake, it’s like a child! And I hate children! [But they seem to like me, which is annoying.]

The entire episode is an exercise in excessive cute, which is the staple of most slice of life animes. And it obviously, immensely works here. Everyone can watch this show: goths, normies, casual anime fans. I may be biased, as I enjoy cute twists on horror elements, but the little details are charming, as this plays out just the way you’d think of a story in which a hopelessly clueless individual is tasked with looking after something it has no knowledge of or experience to draw from. Mii-kun hates cucumber (BUT WILL STILL TRY IN CASE A HUG IS A REWARD), though enjoys apples and monstrously devours shirataki noodles; he loves baths but shouldn’t get wet; he is terrified of strangers. It’s just so cute and calming to watch.

Don’t judge me, but I’m off to look for a Mii-kun plush. JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE IT – YOU’LL BE BUYING ONE, TOO.

Score (episode 1 only): 🎃🎃🎃🎃

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